One cold day in a land far far away from the world there was an amazing mansion where millionaires and billionaires lived there. [like Ronaldo and Messi]
It was Christmas and everyone was so excited to receive all the amazing gifts they were giving each other .
Suddenly Ronaldo broke the window.
Everyone was hurt .
Ronaldo felt extremely sorry.
I like the idea of the soccer players. From Frank the tank
Omesan, your first sentence is very descriptive. I like the way you have been able to include details about where and when in your introduction. It gives your reader a good sense of the setting.
Like your story.
What did you like about the story, Chloe? Be specific with your comments to help our writers grow.