It’s early in the morning at the Falcon Inn. Some people are boarding the bus for work. The milkman has finally arrived at the cafe. The mail has almost reached the Falcon Inn hotel . Winds were rising and it was cold.
I am excited to read your first entry in the 5SC. You have certainly noticed a lot of details in the picture.
I can see that you have put effort into editing your work for spelling and punctuation. This makes reading your writing a pleasant experience.
I noticed that your first four sentences are in present tense (they are about things happening now) and your final sentence is in past tense (it is about something that happened already). Writing in present tense can be very tricky because usually the stories we read are in past tense.
Have you ever read any stories by Andy Griffiths? He often uses present tense in his stories to make the reader feel excited about what is happening to the character right now. It can be very effective, but tricky to do. Maybe you will one day be a famous author like Andy Griffiths!
Wow! Congratulations on your first writing entry to 5SC. You have worked hard to edit and your use of capital letters for proper nouns is impressive. I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future.
I really like this. Your final sentence could be even better if you turned it into a complex sentence e.g Winds were rising and it was cold which was surprising for the month of June.
I am excited to read your first entry in the 5SC. You have certainly noticed a lot of details in the picture.
I can see that you have put effort into editing your work for spelling and punctuation. This makes reading your writing a pleasant experience.
I noticed that your first four sentences are in present tense (they are about things happening now) and your final sentence is in past tense (it is about something that happened already). Writing in present tense can be very tricky because usually the stories we read are in past tense.
Have you ever read any stories by Andy Griffiths? He often uses present tense in his stories to make the reader feel excited about what is happening to the character right now. It can be very effective, but tricky to do. Maybe you will one day be a famous author like Andy Griffiths!
Wow! Congratulations on your first writing entry to 5SC. You have worked hard to edit and your use of capital letters for proper nouns is impressive. I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future.
I like your words tony Lou
I like the word falcon inn
I liked how you used most of the picture.
Why do you and Lachlan both have falcon inn?
I like how you used the word boarding. it is a great word.
I really like this. Your final sentence could be even better if you turned it into a complex sentence e.g Winds were rising and it was cold which was surprising for the month of June.